We are launching a caregiver support group at Milpark Trauma Conference Room. It will be 4 August from 11am to 1pm. Anyone that is a caregiver of a burn survivor is welcome.

The journey is not only difficult for the burn survivor but for the care giver as well. You are the one that has to assist with the dressing changes, keeping the morale of the burn survivor up, while your might feel like crashing down beside you. You are the rock, but even some rocks need a little support here and there.

Together with Netcare Milpark Hospital, we would like to extend our support as well as from caregivers who have been down the road and can assist you with what you are going through right now.

We would like to invite the nurses, doctors and paramedics as well. If it were not for them, what would your life be like today. Perhaps a little bit of encouragement can further inspire them to continue moving forward and making a difference in the lives of burn survivors.

So this Saturday, 4 August 2012, 11am-1pm if you have been a caregiver of a burn survivor and would like to join us please inbox me for more details. bianca@burnfoundation.org.za

See you there!

Just a request to please like us on Facebook and follow us on twitter.

www.facebook.com/burnfoundation.

@SA_Burns_F

This way we can interact and share stories and news with everyone supporting our cause.

With the assistance of our awesome volunteers we managed to distribute all these blankets while giving Learn Not to Burn Programs as well. What more can we ask for? At least there are a few more people that now know what to do in case of a fire or a Burn. The Stop Drop and Roll certainly gets children laughing and having fun while learning.

So although there are many people out there who still need blankets, this year was still a great success. A big Thank you to Melanie Minnaar, Serena Grobler, Outer Limits, Jodene and everyone that donated the blankets that we were able to distribute. If only you could have seen the happiness that the children expressed when receiving the blankets, then you would feel the joy we felt at handing each and every blanket over.

Next year we hope to be more involved and would like to get our prevention message out there further. Let’s see what great things we can come up with and what great teams we can collaborate with…

LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF THE MOST HARD WAY!  

By Mmabatho Molefe

Growing up I always felt not loved enough by my father. I grew up feeling desolated and felt that he resented me for something. I believe he loved me in his own way but I never really felt it. Sometimes he would say horrible things about me and as a young girl I was hurt so much but never spoke about it. I bottled-up every hurt and anger I felt. I felt disconnected from him only to find out 21 years later that he is not my biological father. I guess I always sensed that but as a kid you would not ask such a question. My mother did not plan to tell me not anytime soon, I guess she was trying to protect me somehow. And someday circumstances insisted or may I say fate insisted I be told who my biological father is. And at that moment I did not care whose blood I carried but was more yearning for my fathers (step father) love and approval but sadly I never got that from him. As I grew up so did my insecurities, sorrow, desolation and anger.

Time went by and teenage years sunk in, can’t say I was I rebellious teenager but made wrong choices here and there giving my step father leverage to discourage me. But that did not affect me anyhow by that moment so I thought, because everything he would say I would suppress those emotions and never talk about them. Until when I was 18 I met my boyfriend, we were friends at first but not close, he did and said al the right things and I fell in love with him and I fell hard. He loved me and I loved him and nothing mattered to me anymore but him. I was in my matric year and I can say that I am a pretty smart  and intelligent girl but I started to abandon my studies when I went to secondary school I had emotional issues and felt I could not talk to anyone about them until I met my boyfriend. I was in love, now that I think of it I think I was yearning more for the love from a father figure than that of a boyfriend but because I did not have that and I had my boyfriend I settled for that instead. I fell head over heels for him.

Two years later at the age 20 became a mom, I was nervously excited deep inside of me I believed he will always be there for me and he was. Two years after my son was born everything still ok, ups and downs of course in our relationship but we were stable and great. Until 09 January 2010 an argument spun things out of control. That whole week we have been fighting like normal couples usually do and he is the kind of guy who did not like to talk problems through and I guess I was tired of that so I insisted we talk. That day I tried to reach him and went to his home but he was not home and I went man hunt for him, stupid I know but that moment I thought it was necessary, I figure I was tired of pretending that there was no problem. I had the baby with me and it was in the afternoon so I took a walk with the baby after I found out where he was so we could talk and settle that problem we were fighting about the whole week already. After walking about an hour I eventually found him at a local bar, so I waited for him to come out to us I waited and waited don’t know why but I did and later he eventually came. As we tried to talk an argument rose up again, we both said things that we should have not said and he drove off and left us there, so I waited as it was already late and thought he would come back for us but he did not, so I had no choice but to go back home on foot alone with the baby at night.

I was more terrified of what might happen to us as I walked back home with the baby in my arms. So I prayed so hard for us to arrive home safely but I was also angry and thought to myself why would he do that to us? Why would he leave us like that at night but got no answers? I guess he was not thinking clearly and I on the other hand expected him to be perfect in every way possible. We brought the worst of each other that day. I thankfully got home safe and sound with the child but not my home his home as it is nearer from where I came from than mine, so I went there and laid the baby to bed and I went to bed too. When he came home later that night I asked him to tell me why he did that to us and what went through his head leaving us there in the middle of the night. But got no answers, he said a lot without saying anything at all and I got angrier and emotional. I felt every hurt, sorrow and anger flushing back in me. I became confused and felt betrayed by one person I considered my best friend. I could not look beyond tomorrow, I could not rationalize anything that was happening, and it’s amazing how a moment of weakness can change the rest of your life. I lost my sanity that impulsive moment and all I could hear in my head was how unworthy I am and how much I did not deserve to be loved and how much I deserved everything that was happening in my life and how no one loved me. Besides my biological father did not want anything to do with me, the father I knew all my life did not love me and the guy who know my innermost everything turns out to not care and those were my thoughts that moment. They treated me unworthy and I started to behave unworthy. Anger and heartache changed who I am, I acted impulsive and took a flammable substance and set myself alive on fire. In a blink of an eye I felt my world go from heartache to hell. Something died in me that night. Sadly, unfortunately and unintentionally the home caught fire as well accidentally, although it was unintentionally I feel guilty a lot and pray that GOD help me to be forgiven. Everything was catastrophic and tragic.

Luckily I did not die has it was not my intention to but more about numbing the emotional pain. I was hospitalized for nine months and a week in ICU as I was critical. Technically i was diagnosed as a suicide attempt but I did not intend to kill myself. I was a difficult patient as I was so torn apart emotionally. I shut down and was not keen about life anymore. Part of me knew and knows that this happened but most of me feels and felt like I am and was dreaming. I felt a ghost of a young woman wanted to leave me, jump out of my bones and be done with me. This must be what death feels like. Felt my heart beat to death, I was living to die. How could I have done this to me? Why did I let this happen to me? How can I not love myself enough to not tolerate being mistreated? I realized I missed something, something promised, something so important, something free. And one day I had an epiphany and it hit me right in the face I have a son that needs his mommy, it will not be fair to me or him just to give up on life. He needs me to be here for him, I might not be perfect but I am his mom. I want him to know that I made mistakes and disappointed him and myself and its OK to make mistakes but how you come back and what you learn from that mistake that matters. I suppose everybody has their own baggage it’s just easier when someone gives you a hand. I love my son unconditionally to leave him to be without his mom. I know I am judged a lot but I will say until you walk in my shoes you won’t understand. AND this mistake does not justify who I am and who I want to become .I always thought of this has a curse and thought of finishing off what I had started and thought I had no future but now I have every reason to believe that this happened for a reason. I had thoughts of suicide a lot when I came back home from being in hospital for such a long time and one day I told myself I had to stop being so dramatic. I had a close call to dying and I survived so I figured that I have a purpose to fill and carry out. The reason I believe being about ME learning to love and appreciate myself no matter how I look. For some reason I never loved myself enough, I tolerated being mistreated. But now I see things differently Most people say I am courageous but I say its not courage its love. The love I learned to have for myself and the love of my son and my family and friends. I had to learn to laugh it kept me from crying. I smile because behind and inside me there is someone who wants to cry. But I have shed enough tears, sweat and blood for myself; I do allow myself to cry and breakdown once in a while to release my emotions. There was a time I hated my body, the mirror and that people will look at me and pity me, never really know who I am and want to be. But I know that people are curious and I take it with a warm heart, although I don’t like it. I don’t want to be mis-perceived because of my looks. I believe I have gained more than I have lost. I can’t pretend that I am not torn into pieces but I get so together so no one can get to see the tears I cry and how broken up deep inside I am. My life was complicated and sometimes I think all I have managed to do is complicate it much further. I guess life had to run its cause one way or the other and I am not the one to be pitied.

I want people to know I am not a freak or a bad person I made mistakes like everyone else. I strive to find normalcy again, I survived and I am trying to live the ‘’new normal’’ life. The fire changed me on the outside but has left me beautiful inside and it’s easy to talk about inner beauty but different to live it. And to learn from me that its ok to be in love but don’t forget about yourself and young girls to always know that they are beautiful and worthy of love no matter who they are or how they look. Everyone is worthy and deserving, be proud and accept yourself first. I take responsibility for my life and what has happened how much I take is up to me but I don’t blame anyone. It is said that until you heal your past you will continue to bleed, I still have a long way to go but now I am learning new things about me that I did not notice before, who I am really and I am enjoying my journey and I need a reason to wake up in the morning rather than take care of someone else don’t get me wrong I love my son to death but I also need to take care of myself in the process. In me lives a daughter that smiles and I know some people will wonder why I am smiling, a good mother that loves and a woman who supports after the pain and heartache. And my son is not what went wrong in my life but what saved me. And this is not about me seeking pity but me seeking help, for this tragedy gave me faith that I can accomplish my obstacles and my son will one day be proud that his mom made mistakes but she redeemed and tried so hard to find herself when she was lost and know that with help redemption is possible. I sometime do the walk of shame and guilt still taunt me, I walk around feeling like the world will open up and eat me but something in me is not ready to give up not yet. I still have bad burn scars and horrible disfigurements, severe functional impairment and crippled self-esteem, as I am going down the right path to make peace for and with myself. And peace with the people who were hurt about the incident, I have hurt people that I love because of emotions I could not control and I think that’s selfish, I really feel much remorse for hurting them and hoping I might be forgiven one day as this was not intentional but tragic I am truthfully sorry. I don’t know how to voice my regrets. But I am glad to say that this tragedy have not managed to turn me into a monster emotionally and an angry person towards the world in general. Yes! Sometimes I get angry at people who walked away from me, us when we needed them most but I am glad to say I have people in my life who love me despite my flaws and mistakes and whom I also happen to love and appreciate. I still have burn scars in my heart but I feel GOD in me and I love myself fiercely, for my love is too complicated to have it thrown back in my face. Who I am its inside, its internalized; it’s who I show the world not how I look .AND now I am strong because I am weak sometimes, I am beautiful because I know my flaws. I am fearless because I have been afraid, I am wise because I have been foolish and I can laugh because I have known sadness. All I plead for is to be given second chance in life and be helped because everybody deserves a second chance. Help me make myself a much better person, daughter, sister, friend most of all phenomenal mother because I know I am worthy. Help me help myself to be somebody and proud of myself.

11 February we went to the zoo, as previously mentioned. The day was very informative with all the children learning so much. If there is ever any program we can recommend to parent to send their children on, it is the Honey Badger program at the Johannesburg zoo.

We started off with ice breakers to get the children into little groups and then to allow them to get to know one another. Moving on, we started to collect herbs and all interesting things for the Lion enclosure. Much fun was had by all children, planting herbs and scents as well as leaving delicious treats for the lions in their enclosure while they waited. We moved onto the podium to watch the lions move around and act like little kittens.

The day proceeded with lunch and then more activities doing a rhino wheel. Here they learnt about the rhinos and how to differentiate between the black and white rhino. The Rhino is an animal burn foundation admire and respect. They are the natural fire fighters in nature.

The Marie Claire Team and celebs like Gregg Hammond and Tumi Morake, Dave Levinsohn along with Kim Shulze and Mike Sharman., all got involved assisting the children and having a fun filled day with them. They were able to connect and get to know some of the burn survivors we hold close to our hearts.

Now many people will not be able to make a connection as to why a day like this is so important for the burn survivor. Well; it is a day out, but more importantly they are able to interact with other children and move beyond that vulnerable space they often find themselves in. They feel accepted as ‘just another child’ which is paramount to their psycho social development. A day like this let’s them know there are others out there that really care for them. It gives them future activities to look forward to.

So here is to looking forward to a new outing in the near future.

To get into a little bit of background for those that have not seen, read or know about the Marie Claire Naked issue here goes:

Every year a handful of celebrities bare some skin to highlight some cause. This year they decided to highlight burns, especially since burns leave permanent scars on the skin. The juxtapose between a celebrity taking off their clothes to a burn survivor is that feeling of total nakedness and everyone staring, along with the vulnerability that goes with it. Burns are not given enough light and focus and through the campaign they bring this burning issue to the viewers. At the same time it assists us to build awareness about burns, the prevention and the cause. And the biggest bonus is that Marie Claire South Africa have assisted Burn Foundation Southern Africa in raising funds!

So 31 celebs decided to show some skin for us. This being the biggest Naked issue Marie Claire have had, and being the biggest exposure we have received. For that we are truly grateful and will support Marie Claire in their future campaigns.

So what has happened in these past few months with the campaign you ask? Well, we had a day outing at the zoo, which was a blast and a half! We have had a big drive in recruiting volunteers and continue to do so. We have appeared on 5fm with Kim Shulze (who also took her kit off for us!), been on e-tv sunrise, appearing on Good Morning Africa as well as All Access. Then there was the Gala event. What a night with MC, comedian and newly found naked model Dave Levinsohn starting the evening proceedings in the buff!

All those details will get their own posts. Watch this space!

If you have not already gone and bought, searched for or borrowed the Marie Claire March issue, please look at the link to see videos of the actual shoot as well as videos of the celebrities that joined forces in raising awareness for Burn Foundation Southern Africa. http://www.mariecliarevoyant.co.za/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wux85VAnChg

Group photo at the Radisson Hotel

London City Hall. The South Africans

The first two days of our trip we were hosted by the Canadian Burn Foundation at the Jury’s Inn in Hotel in London. For two days there were three South Africans and six Canadians taking in the sights of London. This experience alone was a lifetime experience.

On day three we travelled to Stansted where we met up with the rest of the participants who were from Russia, Korea, Czech Republic, England and Wales, as well as the Canadians who we had been with for the two previous days.

Opening ceremonies took place the next day at the magnificent City Hall in London. This was the first time the City Hall had been open on a Saturday for such an event. Greetings from the Right Honourable Boris Johnston, Mayor of London, were read and we were greeted in true fashion by the Fire Chief from Bedfordshire, Paul Fuller, and representatives of the London Fire Brigade.

Chaperone Angela ready for the boats

Following lunch and photos we then walked across the famous Tower Bridge and were welcomed by Beefeaters for a grand tour of the Tower of London. This attraction was an amazing experience for everyone and we were delighted to have been given such attention by our hosts. We even received a viewing of the Crown Jewels and the famous “Star of Africa” cut from the Cullinan diamond. Following a visit to the famous Tower we were whisked off to the south side of the river where we were treated to a ride on the Millennium Wheel, towering some 135 metres over the river Thames and giving us a view of the Houses of Parliament, Buckingham Palace, and Westminster Abbey to mention a few.

The following day we went by bus to Grafham Water where groups were selected and team building continued. The facility was top class, as were the team leaders. Throughout the week the children participated in such events as Windsurfing, raft building, canoeing and kayaking, a 16km bicycle ride, and challenge courses. Friends were made and participants self image grew every day. Children and adults were teaching each other how to greet and say please and thank you in many languages and every day brought smiles galore.

On the final day everyone went to see the play “Stomp” which was a delight and held at the Ambassadors Theatre. Following that we had three hours of free time to shop in London’s famous areas, such as Piccadilly Circus and Covent Garden. Shopping and sightseeing with new found friends was a really rewarding experience, and lots of fun.

Finally the coach picked us up in the Haymarket and we had a short bus ride and guided tour around London, ending up at a farewell dinner at the Mayfair Hotel. This famous and prestigious hotel is almost 200 years old and was the real icing on the cake from our hosts.

Attacked by pirates whilst kayaking

We left the group and spent one more day in London, taking the kids on an educational tour to see the Prime Meridian (Greenwich Mean Time) and the Cutty Sark, a tour of Canary Wharf and a ferry trip along the Thames. The next day some very tired campers and chaperones were on their way back to their own countries. This Jamboree is a truly life changing experience and has resulted in children, young and old, making new friends and learning to accept their differences and similarities with others from around the world.

Although the names are too many to mention a special thank you has to go to Dave Webster and Karen Reed of the UK Burns Club for all their time and effort to make this the fantastic success it was, and to our sister organization the Canadian Burn Foundation who provided support and encouragement throughout.

We are proud that South Africa has been chosen to host the next Jamboree which will be held in Cape Town, in August 2010. Finally, thank you on behalf of the children to all of our sponsors who made this trip possible. We hope to see you in Cape Town in 2012 and look forward to our continued partnerships.

Group photo at the park

I teach children in schools all about safety in the house. I teach them stop, drop and roll, as well as not to play with dangerous tools, lighters and matches. I am very clever and know all about dangerous tools and safety!

I also go on camps and visit the burn survivor children. You know, they need the special attention from me.

On Wednesday, 20 August 2008, I was poisoned and was rushed to hospital. I was really ill and thought I was going to die. But I really had a good doctor and every one I love came to visit me in hospital.

My aunt, Theresa De Klerk, contacted Counselor Van Den Mollen in region B-ward 102.

They send out a bunch of e-mails to ask for donations towards my hospital account. She told me that so many people responded!! The money for my account was raised so quickly and so many people send their love and wanted to know how I was doing.

I want to thank each and every person that donated money, or just called to find out how I am doing. If it were not for all the people that loved me so much and opened their harts, I would not have been able to get better and go home, or ever teach children again!!!

I am home now, and doing a lot better. My aunt says that lost a lot of weight, so Dad is feeding me nice chicken, so I can pick up weight again. Then I will be back at work, doing the thing I love best, to teach the children.

You can visit this web site every month, as dad will tell you what work I have done in the month and what he is planning for us.

Love,

Buddy, the safety teaching dog.